The Torres Family - In Loving Memory of Baby Julius

This post is not going to be a happy one I'm afraid. It is a post about a little boy who was taken from this Earth so early that it is unfathomable. This little boy was not a little boy at all, he was a baby. A four & a half month old perfectly healthy baby.

I was sitting at work on Wednesday morning when a co-worker of mine, who found out through a friend of a friend, asked me if I had taken pictues of a little boy named Julius. I told her that I had been taking his photos since birth, & his parents photos for the past 2 years. I had just taken his 4 month photos on Saturday up on Monte Sano. That was when she informed me that he had passed away.

For me, as I'm sure it is for many others involved, this is such a surreal experience. To see a bright, happy, healthy 4 month old baby boy on Saturday and to take his photos of all of his new "tricks" that he had accomplished since I saw him last and then by Tuesday afternoon he's gone, is a crazy nightmare. It's even crazier that I was the first person to meet Baby Julius after he was born (other than his parents and doctors) at his first photo shoot. He was always a very observant little man. He kept his eye on me wondering what the huge black thing covering my face was. He stared up at the trees and watched the leaves blow. He didn't crack a smile when I made my goofy noises at him, but exposed the biggest smiles when his mommy & daddy talked to him. He loved his mom & dad and that sure showed.

At this moment it is believed that baby Julius Luciano Torres had passed away in his sleep during an afternoon nap from S.I.D.S. (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.)

For something like this, there are no words. I'm not very good with words to begin with, so I gave Julius' parents the only thing that I know... pictures. And now I will share those with you.




























In addition to posting the photos from this photo session, I also wanted to elaborate a little on what SIDS is to those who may not be aware of it. I asked my friend Stephanie to write a little something on SIDS for me.

----

Sudden Infant Dead Syndrome (SIDS) is a rare, complex and mysterious diagnosis that is given for the unexpected/sudden death of an infant under 12 months. While it most commonly occurs between 2 and 4 months, SIDS can happen anytime up to 18-20 months. Due to the complex nature of SIDS, it is often times difficult to write or speak about in a coherent way.

A doctor declares SIDS as the cause of death if all other options have been exhausted via autopsy, examination of the death scene, and reviews of symptoms/illnesses that the infant had prior to dying. In other words, a diagnosis of SIDS is a catch-all for the unexplained death of an infant. It is also an incredibly painful and confusing diagnosis for parents and loved ones of the child to cope with, and nearly impossible to explain to others who have not experienced it.

There are certain risk factors associated with SIDS, but it's important to keep in mind that any of these factors on their own are not necessarily linked, and a baby can still die from SIDS if none of these factors are present in the home. The most common risk factors are: a baby sleeping on his/her stomach, a mother smoking while pregnant, and exposure to passive (second-hand) smoke from the mother, father, or people who visit. Again, it is extremely important to realize that just because a baby dies from SIDS it does not mean any of these factors were present.

There are many different scientific theories about the cause of SIDS that you can read at this website: http://www.sidsma.org/new_parents/sids_facts.html (under the section entitled "What Causes SIDS?"). I won't go into them now, because what is more important is that this beautiful family is mourning the loss of their incredibly precious son, and that in and of itself is a tragedy. 

Here are the facts about SIDS:

-- Safe co-sleeping is NOT a cause of SIDS. Many people are under this impression, but as explained by Dr. Sears, it is completely possible to co-sleep with your infant in a safe way that prevents the onset of SIDS. However, there are five big reasons you should never co-sleep: 

-- SIDS is sudden and silent, and also unpredictable and unpreventable.

-- SIDS is NOT caused by vomiting, choking, minor illnesses, immunizations, child abuse, or a lack of love. SIDS is not contagious.

You can read more about SIDS here. That link includes information about how you can try to prevent SIDS and what to do if your baby only wants to sleep on his or her stomach.

If you know someone who has lost a child to SIDS, it's important that you consider that friend's feelings when speaking to him or her about their loss. We recently published an article on Offbeat Mama about how to speak to a friend who has lost a child that might be of interest to some. If you have lost a child to SIDS, there is a website called SIDS Families that has an extensive support network attached -- the site was started by Lydia, who lost her 2 month old to SIDS in 1999. SIDS Families also addresses many more of the frequently asked questions about SIDS here.

 

----

Stephanie is an old high school friend of mine. She is a mother of a 19 month old little boy & a fellow photographer!  Stephanie is the Managing Editor for the Offbeat Mama blog & writes her own personal family blog as well called Casa de Kaloi.  She is co-owner & photographer for White Rabbit Studios & you can follow her on Twitter as well by @stephaniekaloi. 

 

Thanks Stephanie!